My first funeral in Central America

In my last email update you may remember that I mentioned a dad that was killed by a gang. On Easter Sunday, around 5pm, a gang was looking for 3 guys. 2 of them were brothers. Nobody was at home at the first house the gang went to, and then they went to the home of the 2 brothers. Again, nobody was home. However, a few min later the gang walked past the brother’s dad on the street and they shot/killed the dad. There are far more questions than answers, particularly the question of why the gang was looking for the boys. The boys say they don’t know why they’re being hunted. I’m told that it’s very unlikely that this will be investigated by police, much less solved, due to the corruption within government and the police. It just so happens that this incident took place while I was visiting Bobby and Britney in El Salvador, but this sort of things happens frequently in Latin America.

This was cause for my first exposure to a funeral in this culture. The body was taken to the morgue on the day of the murder (Sunday) and it was released the following day (Monday). Embalming is very expensive, and therefore almost never done, and thus the funeral/burial process is quick. The body was in a casket, which looked more or less similar to a low-end metal casket in the USA. Per normal, the casket/body was delivered to the family’s home the day after the death. Then family and friends come to view the body and pay their respect to the family. In the case, the casket was in a living room type of area. If the family has money, something simple to eat and drink may be served to the visitors. In this case, no food was offered. The local church (via Bobby) provided folding metal chairs for everyone. The family stays with the body all night until it’s time for burial the next day. Friends come and go throughout the night. Unlike a typical USA casket where the top half of the casket is open for a viewing, this casket had a small hinged door (approx. 1’x 2’) and a pane of glass that allowed everyone to see just the head.

The next day, Tues, a few friends/family members went to the public cemetery in the morning to hand dig the hole. Typically, family/friends carry the casket from the home to the cemetery, and everyone walks behind the casket in a long procession. In this case, it was quite a distance, so they paid to use the funeral home van to take the casket to the cemetery. I’ve seen times where the family has borrowed a truck to transport the casket and the family/friends walk behind. When we got to the cemetery the hole wasn’t yet finished. Bobby & Brit tell me that this is often the case. Ultimately there was a grave side service. Fortunately, this service was short, but I understand that it can go on for hours. Throughout this entire time, there were several people who roamed the scattered crowd, selling fruit, candy, water, etc. Then a few men used straps to lower the casket into the hole. The funeral isn’t over until the hole is filled back in with dirt and the family puts fresh flowers on the grave site.

As a side note, a cemetery near the ministry here in Guatemala has rental spaces (along with ground spaces) in their cemetery. I also saw this same thing being done in Ecuador years ago. Essentially there are tall, deep, concrete walls with rectangular holes to fit a simple casket or box. When a family can no longer pay the monthly rent for the spot, the remains are tossed out (in this case, over the edge/cliff on one side of the cemetery where the trash dump beings). There are specific walls that are less deep for children.

Once again, things are quite different here. Not necessarily wrong, just different. This was my first personal experience with a funeral here. I’d prefer it to be my last…but I doubt it. And would you believe that I hear an ambulance going by as we speak? How’s that for timing? Anyhow, this does once again cause me to pause and thank God that because of the sacrifice of Jesus, I know where I’ll spend eternity.

Do Guatemals hate me?

When more than one person asks the same question, it makes me wonder if perhaps they represent a bigger population of people who also are wondering the same thing.

Because I often mention that it’s dangerous here, some of you have written and asked why the Guatemalans don’t like/hate us. I’m very glad you took the time to ask, and please continue to ask questions.

By in large, Guatemalans like us. I have not yet met a Guatemalan that hated or strongly disliked me (us, Americans). On the contrary, they have welcomed me with open arms, and treated me very well. However, it’s commonly believed by Guatemalans that all Americans are rich. And for the most part, I believe they are right (at least as seen through their eyes). Some live by the Robin Hood philosophy- that it’s perfectly fine to take from the rich in order to provide for the poor/themselves. I’ve heard a saying here which roughly translates: An open treasure chest is available to all. So, for example, if I leave my house or car door unlocked or window open, or if I lay down a personal item, then it’s available to anyone. Which means that it’s my job to secure my stuff. However, there are quite a few people (especially those that I work with daily) that do not believe in this way of seeing things. My Guatemalan co-workers go out of their way to look out for me, and I’ve seen them put themselves in dangerous positions for my sake and for the sake of other Americans.

So, why am I (and any other American) in danger? Because we’re easy targets to get robbed. And women are more vulnerable because it’s not likely we carry a gun/knife or can overpower a Guatemalan man. They’re mostly wanting whatever we have on us: cell phones, money, watches, jewelry, and anything that’s in a backpack (camera, computers, etc.) The more Americans that can be found in one place, the more likely they are to find more valuable stuff. And if they find valuable stuff once, then they’ll come back again and again. That’s why we don’t let teams leave the house on their free time. That’s why we don’t let team members leave the house with cameras or other obviously valuable stuff. That’s why we’re never alone. That’s why we have eyes in the back of our head and try to stay very alert to our surroundings at all times. That’s why I have a little money and an old cell phone on me at all times. That’s why we try to avoid patters as much as possible (Ex: We go to different banks and grocery stores on different days.) That’s why we pray daily for safety.

So it’s just robbery, right? Well, every one of our Guatemalan team mates have been robbed at knife and/or gunpoint more than once. I don’t think they’d say, "It’s JUST robbery." It certainly causes a person to feel vulnerable, violated, and scared for many weeks to come (not to mention that their money/stuff is gone). It’s ABSOLUTELY NOT limited to Americans. Anyone who’s perceived to have anything valuable is a target. But as to whether a person’s health is endangered, I don’t know. I haven’t recently heard of any American being raped, kidnapped, or killed. But then again, I don’t know if this sort of thing gets reported, and if it does, if it’s put in the media. My guess it that most often it is limited to robbery.

Don’t get me wrong. This is a very dangerous country. Guatemala is way smaller than Mexico, yet has an equal number of deaths. On average, there are 18 violent deaths per day in Guatemala. The majority seems to be linked to gangs, drugs, and poverty. I’m signed up for free Google Alerts for Guatemala, and therefore I get emails daily re: any news that mentions Guatemala. This is how I try to stay alert as to what’s going on.

So, is it worth the risk? For me, undeniably yes. We all live around potential danger. Ours is just a little more overt than others. This is where I’m called by God to work and live. God gave me a brain, thus I try to make smart, safe decisions. But ultimately I trust God to protect me and to protect those that work in and visit this ministry. Does that mean that God won’t allow anything bad to happen? No, but it does mean that I believe God is in control and He’s going to take care of me (us) every step along the way. And for me the eternal benefit of reaching out to others in Jesus name far outweighs anything else.

Britney's surgery - April 2009

If you read my most recent blog entry (“Rosa”) then you’ll appreciate why Bobby and Britney chose for Brit to have surgery in a private hospital, even though the public hospital is essentially free. By the way, for those of you who may be new to my blog, Bobby and Britney are good friends of mine. We lived and worked side by side in an El Salvadoran orphanage in 2007, and they now continue their ministry in a different part of El Salvador.

Last fall Brit & Bobby were forced to have a medical exam in order to renew their El Salvador residency cards. This led to the discovery of a tumor on Brit’s thyroid gland (throat area). Ultimately, it was decided that she needed to have the tumor removed. Due to God’s amazing timing, I was able to extend my stay by a week and be with them for the week of Brit’s surgery.

I hear there are some really good private doctors and hospitals here, but this one…. Well, let’s just say that I was a little suspect when the doctor didn’t do any of the routine pre-surgery stuff, like telling the pt. to not eat before surgery, or doing chest x-rays, lab work, etc. On the day of surgery, Brit was walked to her room. They didn’t ask questions about her health history nor did they take her temperature, blood pressure, etc. Once the surgery was over, the surgeon and his assistant came to the waiting room and spoke with Bobby and I. He showed us her tumor (a ¾ the size of a ping-pong ball) that was floating in a clear liquid in an open glass jar. The lid in his hand had “Gerber” printed on it. He closed the lid and said he was now sending it off to be tested to see if it was cancerous….in a Gerber baby food jar! From the swinging double doors in the waiting room we could see Brit lying on a stretcher in recovery. We could also see that only one other surgery was scheduled that day for the O.R. When they wheeled Brit back to her room, she was the only patient on that floor of the small hospital. Once again, they never took her pulse, blood pressure, temp, etc. Actually, during her entire stay in the hospital they never did these things. There were 2 beds in her room, one was the manual crank style, the other was electric, but the controls were located in such a way that somebody other than the patient had to maneuver the controls. The beds were very old and rusty. The mattresses were….well, let’s not go there. It took a great search through out the hospital when we requested a pillow for Brit’s comfort. I will say, however, that each room had an air conditioner unit, and hers actually worked! And the shower had hot water…a real rarity in this part of the world. We all took a shower there just to enjoy the hot water. It was the first hot shower B&B had since Jan 2008. The nurse came every 4 hours to check on her and give her a shot of pain medicine and nausea medicine via her IV line….even though Brit told her she wasn’t having any pain or nausea. They didn’t allow her to get out of bed or eat that day….but by dinner time she had walked to the restroom (which was in her room) and eaten a large hamburger Bobby smuggled in from Wendys.

The doctor came in the next morning. Bobby, Beatriz (a young woman that lives with them), and I had stayed with Britney all night. I think we looked and felt worse than she did. When he removed the bandage on her neck I was amazed to see the large metal clamps (much bigger than staples) that he used to close her incision. The MD said we could go, so we thought we were ready to pay the bill and get home. We were past ready to leave and Brit felt and looked great, no complications at all.

That’s when we ran into financial complications. We already knew that every patient had to pay the bill in full before they were allowed to leave, and the MD told us that it would cost no more than $2400 for 2 nights. Brit called the hospital a couple of days before the surgery to confirm that she could use a credit card to pay the bill. However, when we went to pay the bill, the cost was $2600, and the fee for the MD had to be paid in cash (or it technically could be paid with a credit card with a 22% fee added to it). Next problem…the ATM machines only allow a person to get $400 out per day, and we needed way more $400. And worse yet, B&B didn’t have the amount needed in their checking account. (The person who wires $ from the USA is not good about getting money into their account in a timely manner each month.) After many calls, someone was able to reach the MD and he permitted Brit to pay his portion of the bill at her follow-up appointment the following week. Whew!

Ultimately, Brit’s test results came back showing that there were no cancerous cells in the tumor or lymph nodes. She was up on her feet, washing clothes by hand, sweeping/mopping the floors, and her normal daily stuff the day after surgery. Aint God good!

Rosa- April 2009

Do you remember Rosa? I blogged about her on March 15th if you want to go back and check it out.

I had talked extensively to Rosa about the possible complications she may have in her pregnancy due to her diabetes and very high glucose readings. On Monday April 13, while I was in El Salvador, Rosa had a miscarriage. She said she experienced severe abdominal pain and went to the public hospital where she was told the baby was dead. Late in the night, or perhaps in the wee hours of the next morning, she had surgery re: her pregnancy. She saw her son and said that he fit entirely in the palm of her hand. She was about 4 months into her pregnancy.

On Thursday morning, she was awoken at 4am for her turn to take a shower. She was in a ward with multiple other ladies, and they all shared a bathroom. She felt very ill and could hardly make it back to her bed after her shower. She was having a hard time breathing. The lady in the next bed asked if she was OK. Rosa said the last thing she remembers is hearing somebody yell for the nurse on her behalf. When Rosa regained consciousness, the doctor was at her side. He told her she had died and that it was a miracle that she was alive. He didn’t expect her to make it. But Rosa has quite a story to tell of what happened in this time where she was “dead.” She said she saw God, particularly His bright white robe. Her baby was in the palm of His hand. The baby told her that she didn’t need to be sad because he will forever be in her heart and they will see each other again one day in heaven. However, for now she needed to return to her children because they needed her. And then God also told her that she needed to return. Then she woke up. Later that same day, Thursday, the doctor asked if she wanted to go home and she said yes. So, she went home the same day she died. She doesn’t know specifically what type of surgery she had on Monday, nor did anyone explain to her why she died on Thursday, nor does she have any follow-up medical appointments, nor does she have prescriptions for any medicines. She was put on insulin during her hospital stay, but wasn’t told what type or how much, or the need for it once she returned home. She remembers overhearing that her blood sugar level was 40 at some point, but she doesn’t remember when. Of course, this is all beyond appalling to me. But as one Guatemalan friend told me, Welcome to Guatemala.

I myself, knowing Rosa, don’t doubt one speck of her account. I believe it is completely true. She told me this story during my visit with her 4 days after she came home. I’ll never forget how she met me at the door and burst into get level tears as we hugged for a very long time. She told me that she’s sad, but not overwhelming sad because of her after life experience. She feels God has granted her the gift of life to again be able to care for her 2 children.

I continue to follow Rosa on a weekly basis. She continues to come visit me almost every Sunday so that I can check on her and give her more diabetic medicine. It’s a hard life for her; her employer has only been paying the employees on every other payday. And she doesn’t know if she’ll get paid for the time she’s missed work (2 wk). I wish I could truthful say Rosa’s story is rare, but it’s not. It’s more common than any of us would like to believe. But the Rosas of this world keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep their eyes focused on Him. What a privilege it is to be here with the Rosas of this world.